Hello, I'm Biscuit!
We can rebuild him.  We have the technology.  We have the capability to make the world's first Bionic Dog.  Biscuit Turner will be that dog.  Better than he was before.  Better . . . stronger . . . faster.

Quote: "I live my life by the Second Law of Thermodynamics."
Functional Name:  Biskie
Weight:  75 lbs.
Given Name:  Biscuit
Aliases:  Biskie Whiskerson, Whiskey Biskerson, Mr. Biskerson, The Six-Million Dollar Dog, Smiley Smilerson, Eddie Rascal, Jordan (as in Michael Jordan - in honor of the smoothly stylish way he jumps up on the bed at night)
Hobbies:  Absorbing affection, playing with my sister (rope-toy-tug-o-war, wrasslin', chase, keep-away-from-my-treat, stalker/stalkee), chasing the cats, avoiding wet ground, saying good morning to every blade of grass in the yard, gnawing bones (no, that's not prison lingo)

My Story
So, there I was, living the vagabond life of a Galveston beach dog, living off the suckers, er, people who fed me and let me sleep on their porch.  Then, one day, I'm walking down the road, minding my own business and...BAM...next thing I know I'm limping down the road in a daze, only three of my legs are working, and I've got major road rash.  Never saw it coming, didn't get the license plate.  As I limped home I noticed this truck following me, but I just kept focused on getting to my porch.  These nice people stopped and helped me.

Click here to read my Dad's explanation of this part...I think I still have most of it blocked out.

So now I live in a new house, with a new sister (Weagle), my Mom and Dad, and three other lesser life forms (a.k.a cats).  I really felt right at home right away.  My sister is fun, for the most part, and the cats aren't even a little bit afraid of me, but they still play chase with me sometimes.  I don't have my cast any more (or my nads...ouch, thanks a lot) and I get around fine, no limp or anything (and no Limp Biscuit jokes, all right?  I've heard them ALL).  Life is pretty sweet.

My favorite thing to do is to placidly lay as close as I can to Mom and/or Dad and have them pet me.  My FAVORITE way to do this is to lay between them on the bed, and have both of them pet me.  Sometimes they make me get out from between them, and I really don't want to talk about what happens then. 

My second favorite thing to do is to stalk my sister.  She's such a big old goober that it's easy to catch her, but it still drives her crazy when I go into my perfectly still stalker pose and give her my thousand-yard stare.  She KNOWS that I'm fixing to come after her, and sometimes she barks and woofs at me to tell me not to, but I do it anyway!  Zoom...pounce...bite...wrassle...I LOVE it!  She doesn't seem to mind, either, because she always comes back for more. 

My least favorite thing to do is to walk on a wet lawn.  I mean, what sort of bumpkin do Mom and Dad think I am, that I'm going to walk around barefoot on wet ground like that?  But, they REALLY don't like it when I do my business in the garden, so I usually find a place right near the edge of the lawn, maybe even with a couple of my paws up on a rock, and then take care of business.  It's REALLY exhausting trying to deal with them in that situation, but they're getting better.  They also don't seem to like that, when the lawn is dry, I like to give each and every blade of grass a 'Good Morning!' sniff before getting down to business.  I mean, how rude would I be to go out there and snub the lawn like that?  Humans just don't understand the complex dog/lawn symbiosis, I guess.